As we wrap up Adoption and Permanence Education Month, we’re sharing the story of Adrianna, whose journey of love, identity, and family illustrates the deep bonds formed through adoption.
Adrianna’s story began in 2002, when she was just 8 months old. She was adopted by Ella, a mother who had been fostering children through the Catholic Children’s Aid Society of Toronto (CCAS) since 1999. Ella had fostered many children over the years but knew in her heart she wanted to adopt. CCAS matched Adrianna with Ella based on their cultural match as both are bi-racial. Her birth mother, knowing she could not provide the life her daughter deserved, made the incredibly difficult decision to place Adrianna for adoption, hoping she would have a better future.
Ella often says that she “birthed Adrianna out of her heart,” a phrase that captures the deep, unconditional love she has for her daughter. Their life together blossomed with Ella continuing her fostering work, while Adrianna, always compassionate, was deeply involved in the care of the children they welcomed into their home. Adrianna could often be found reading to the babies or rocking them to sleep, developing an early sense of empathy and nurturing.
However, Ella noticed something about Adrianna from a young age—her exceptional shyness. Ella’s observant nature led her to seek answers for Adrianna’s behaviour. After much consultation with doctors and specialists, Adrianna was diagnosed with autism at the age of six, a moment that would change the course of their journey together. When Adrianna first heard the diagnosis, she simply asked, “Mama, can I tell my friends?” Ella, always supportive and encouraging, smiled and replied, “Honey, it’s your story to tell.”
At the age of nine, Ella shared another piece of Adrianna’s story with her—the story of her adoption. Ella gently explained how much Adrianna was loved—not only by her, but also by her birth mother, who had made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure that Adrianna would have the best possible life. Ella reassured Adrianna that, no matter what, she would always be there for her. She promised to help Adrianna search for her biological family when the time felt right. When Adrianna heard this, her response was the same as before: “Mama, can I tell my friends?” With a loving smile, Ella responded, “Honey, it’s your story to tell.”
Adrianna’s journey to finding her biological family would not begin until she was 18 years old. After completing her final exam at Seneca College for her Early Childhood Education certificate, Adrianna came home one day and told Ella, “Mama, I’m ready to start the journey.” The road ahead was long and filled with twists and turns. What neither Adrianna nor Ella could have predicted was that the search for her birth family would take three years.
The search involved contacting the Adoption Council of Ontario, completing disclosure forms, searching online databases, undergoing DNA tests, and even joining Facebook groups dedicated to adoptee connections. The process was exhausting, but Adrianna’s determination never wavered. Finally, by the grace of God, Adrianna’s persistence paid off. She was connected with another adoptee who helped youth search for their biological families. This led Adrianna to her biological grandfather on her mother’s side, as well as to her aunt—her mother’s half-sister.
Now, at 22 years old, Adrianna has built strong relationships with both her maternal and paternal biological families. This past October, she even spent Thanksgiving with some of them, a celebration of the love and connection that now surrounds her from all sides. Her biological mother and father have both expressed their gratitude to Ella for raising such a bright young woman.
Adrianna is currently nearing the completion of her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at York University and hopes to attend Teacher’s College soon. Her future is bright, filled with opportunities that were made possible by the love and support of her adoptive mother, Ella.
Adrianna’s story is one of resilience, love, and family. It is a beautiful reminder that adoption is not just about finding a home—it’s about creating a family based on care and compassion – and it’s also about returning to your roots by finding your biological family. The journey of Adrianna and Ella is one of deep love, showing that family is made up of the connections we choose to nurture.
